As many of you know I have been battling issues with the beginnings of cervical cancer for about two years now. Finally I told the dr to take the whole thing out so I wouldnt have to worry as much. Well on Feb 4 they did just that, well all except my ovaries, that apparently dont work well the first several weeks after the hysterectomy. I am doing great considering, but I have learned several things about myself during this recovery process.
1. Your uterus does NOT make you a female. As ridiculous as this sounds I did go through I period where I felt less feminine because of this operation. I quickly discovered its not so. My husband desires me just as much as he did before, its still totally possible to feel desire yourself, you still have feminine desires, and so on and so forth.
2. Just because you feel “up to” doing stuff, does NOT mean you should. Being one with so many OCD’s I constantly feel the need to get back to routine. It keeps me sane. However if you ever go through major surgery, or a major illness do yourself a favor, and take it easy, and listen to your body, otherwise you just end up with more of the down time you were trying to prevent.
3. You really can find humor in anything. My life has been nothing bunch a bowl of laughs since this surgery. Yes at times you really have to look to see the humor, but I promise its there, and do please look for it. Laughter will help you more than any pain pill, any drug, and it will make your healing process easier to deal with.
4. Dressing up with no where to go is also a great medication. If you want to feel great, fake it until you make it. Sounds silly, but on your first trip out if you have the urge to overdress by all means do it. It helps with the fears of the loss of femininity, it helps with feeling like you are getting your life back, and it helps with self esteem in general. However, take your situation into consideration. If you are having trouble walking for instance dont wear heels…
5. I am more resilient than I think. You are too. There have been several moments where felt defeated, and like the pain, and the weakness were never going to end. I endured it, I survived it, and found out this too shall pass.